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a bird flew into my house while i was sleeping
my mom always taught me to be nice with guests so i fed him but he wouldn’t eat
then it turns out that he demanded to be fed in the mouth (or beak?)
rude asshole look at him smiling because he made me his bitch
How does that even fucking happen.
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(via jasongrace)
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Do you ever feel like the back-up friend?
The one that they hit up when everybody else bails out on them. The one they hit up only when they need something. The one they hit up when nobody else wants to talk. Always the back-up, never the first priority? Yeah, it sucks.
(via perfectcells)
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Why don’t schools offer a class on how to argue with someone without crying.
(via wheeljacksback)
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So I went on Omegle today out of boredom and I meet up with three police officers from Iraq. We all became best friends and had a competition of “who can balance an object on their head the longest.” I chose a shoe and they chose a gun. I ended up winning with the shoe. I think this screenshot really captures the spirit.
that’s legitimately one of the cutest things i’ve ever seen happen on the internet
sometimes i really like humans
(via frenzyx)
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(via perfectcells)
